Lucy
My name is Lucy Mayes. I am a mother, daughter, sister and wife. Not so long ago I would have described myself as ‘a seeker', and my eclectic career path is evidence of this. I have had a strong inkling - in fact urge - from a young age that I am here to ‘make a difference'. My search for how I was going to do this has been somewhat frantic, very ambitious and very busy. In short, I am about truth, justice and hope. My career path through law and then social work were my attempts to pin down / pursue these elusive values.
My journey through motherhood, as well as a yearning for a deeper understanding of my intuitive purpose and a consequent spiritual journey have led me towards more calm, creative, less activist, egoistic ways of touching people's lives. Frustrated by the ‘small picture' operations of many of the contexts in which I have worked (large corporate, community health, youth development, mental health and local government), I am currently working for myself.
I am developing a field of thought which I have named ‘integrated development' which is a big picture, holistic framework for contemplating policy and practice which acknowledges the innate connections between economic, community, youth, health, educational, environmental, personal and spiritual development. I have borrowed the term ‘integrated' from what I consider to be the future of medicine - my husband and I having recently established himself (a holistic GP) in an integrated clinic together with a naturopath, acupuncturist, homeopath, psychotherapist and Reiki masters.
I am passionate about the power of story to inspire, give hope and to heal. To this end, I am in the process of editing a book - capturing the stories of medical practitioners who went into the field because of an intuition as a compassionate healer, and who have found themselves exploring and beginning to practice beyond the limited (although purposeful) framework of western medicine, aware of a person and illness as more than just the physical.
Another story catching tool I have recently discovered is film and I have made three grass roots community based documentaries about community engagement, the role of community development in motivating behaviour change towards sustainability, and stories of innovation in the face of peak oil and climate change. I am also running creative, expressive dance and yoga classes for children and their parents on the Sunshine Coast.
The important people in my life
My father
Robert Rees grew up by the sea and always wanted to be a merchant sailor but failed the entry tests because of colour blindness. He ended up as a corporate high flyer with high ego and then lost it all, including the ego. Now he sails and smiles and continues to remind to me stop and smell the roses, and continues to journey with me in exploring the fullness of life and our purpose. He taught me several important lessons: be who you are, not who you think the world wants you to be; be passionate, loving, generous, raw and real; and smile.
My mother
Margaret Rees-Jones describes herself as highly intelligent but socially inept and super-shy as a child, suffering emotional abuse from her father and emotional distance from her mother. She is highly intelligent and passionate about knowledge; she got her degree in her 50's and PhD in her 60's. She adores music and beauty and is committed to giving my sister and I strong self esteem. She taught me that beneath every hurt soul is a beautiful angel desperate to be loved and to have their love received, and to honour the beauty around us and in ourselves.
My father-in- law, Ian Mayes, and my husband, Richard Mayes
They are two beautiful, humble, wise, generous, funny men. They are compassionate, powerful pioneer healers. From them I have learned to be interested in others, to do what I love doing and the power of humility and wisdom.
My children
Sophie and Angus Mayes are wise angels, totally in their bodies and spirits. They teach me that creativity, intuition, deep love, raw emotion, freedom, spontaneity, and joy are our natural born state and that our job is to unlearn the things that get in the way of those gifts, and to honour the wisdom of our children.
My dreams for men and women in the future
- That we honour and nurture that which is intrinsic to us and not buy into group think about how women or men should behave or be treated. When we can all see ourselves as individuals with unique capacities, interests and gifts, we will all be free to live our own truths with less concern for expected roles.
- That we will not be expected to explain, or be questioned in relation to our choices.
- That women will have the courage to free their partners of the burden of being the provider so that they too can follow their dreams / experience the rewards and growth of parenting.
- That women will free themselves of any definitions of / attachment to ‘good mother' and allow that their children are powerful enough to grow in the good care of many, and grow while their parents grow - however that looks.
- That women, and more men will continue to allow themselves the less outwardly glorious, but utterly glorious experiences of volunteering, caring and creating.
My greatest achievement
My greatest achievement has only come in recent times, brought about by the turmoil of motherhood - that is, peace. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't one of those fuzzy, Huggies, ‘ah-ha' moments - no, what a learning curve, what a shock to the ego, what a leveller!
Fight as I might for some sense of purpose, achievement, satisfaction, acknowledgement, I was rewarded with difficult children and a falling apart marriage. The temptation was to run away, back to a career which I knew would give me the pat on the back I was craving, but the more I tried to deny what was in front of me, the ‘louder' my children and situation became.
The great irony was that I was, on the surface of it, all about peace, love and understading, and yet, it was so much easier to direct that outwards to the world, rather than inwards to my little family. I was filled with anger, fury and rage at my situation - at this husband who was allowed to go back to life as he knew it, to be someone, and to be congratulated and lauded when seen changing a nappy or in the supermarket, or ‘babysitting' his very own children. I was angry with my schooling which had led me to believe that I was supposed to be able to have it all, I was angry at all women who seemed to have found what they had always been looking for, in motherhood. I was angry with my children for not being perfect and therefore for showing me up as not being perfect. The list goes on.
I was totally self-focussed and destructive. As is our evolutionary, biblical, mythological and very human story, the devastating, fraught, death of an old reality or self, is followed by an ultimately grateful, gracious, ‘bigger' new reality. And crisis becomes our greatest opportunity and greatest gift.
An encounter with a magnificent program called Human Potentials sees me today a ridiculously happy, and totally unambitious, joyous mother, daughter, sister and wife.
I am no longer scouring the newspapers trying to keep up with what's going on in the world so as to have my two penny's worth to contribute to any conversation, I now scour people's faces and hearts for the truth in their lives. And my hope for the difference I am going to make in the world is that I will be able to truly listen to people, to be there for them and to give them the love, understanding and acknowledgement that we all crave in this life. And to offer hope in our power, and in the simplicity of the answers to the search we are all on. That is, human connection and the freedom to stand in our own truth, to trust our own knowing, and to allow others theirs.