Jan
My name is Jan Otte. I am in my early fifties, married with two children. My eldest son, was adopted from Thailand when he was 4 years old. My younger son is 12 and he arrived in our family almost the same year. He is our biological child.
I grew up in a working class suburb of Hobart, being the fifth generation of Tasmanians, in our family of original settlers, free settler Irish and English farmers and business folk.
My partner is a first generation migrant of German bakground. I grew up in Moonah in the middle of a highly multicultural environment. the effect of the post war migration from Italy, Germany, Poland and Greece. This was loads of fun, the food was great and I spent each day deciding who's kitchen I would visit! Everyone came to my place for roast lamb and apple pie!
I have a younger sister and an older brother. My father, a massively important role model for all of us, ran his own building company which he took over on the death of his father, who took over from his father before him. My mother has a psychiatric illness which has plagued her all her life.
What I would like for women in the year 2020
I would like women to be able to make better choices for themselves by the year 2020. At present women are tied to the workforce because of the need to pay their mortgages etc...but some times of life are critical, they need time for their own happiness and that of their young children. I would like more of them to be able to choose their work time and the place where that occurs and balance their home and work better.
For those women that struggle with children who have difficulties, I would like them to have greater levels of appropriate support. I would also like to see better outcomes for these children and their parents.
I would like women of many backgrounds and religions to understand and learn from each other better and then be able to share this better understanding of each other throughout our communities, producing harmony, trust and collaboration.
My most significant challenges and achievements
My most significant and continuing challenges have been raising two boys, one of whom has a learning difficulty. Another significant and continuing challenge is supporting my mother with her illness when in fact she has been abusive to me all my life.
Taking over my fathers business following his sudden and expected death and supporting my husband and family through business ups and downs also has been an enormous and continuing challenge.
However, the businesses have also represented great achievements and provided livelihoods for many Tasmanian families through out their working lives .
My other achievement has been holding down a career as a public servant while juggling all of the above; this has been like being on a fast roller-coaster and never feeling quite in control.
The important people in my life
Harold Wright, my father
My father always said to me as I was growing up "you could run this building company; you have the smarts and the cred to do it!"
He always said this when we were in his office and looking at some aspect of a new building or some problem he had. I was only about seven or eight when he said these things first, but he repeated them. Later I worked for him in the holidays and made a big stuff up in a tender; I added it up wrong!! Regardless of this, he continued to repeat my strengths despite the mistake.
He taught me to plant positive seeds with children about the strengths you notice they have; be truthful, but be really fantastically positive with their strengths. I have learned that this works with people of all ages.
Ellen Wright-Nell, my grandmother
I recall when she was 83, and I was a 19-20 year old, we visited Heron on Saturday afternoons and watched the European soccer. She marveled at the beauty of the young Italian men on the field and told me her heart was still willing but the body could no longer follow.
She was growing old but always made me laugh; through adversity and loneliness she had dignity and a great sense of humor.
When I finally left an abusive mother she told me "if you ever return there I will never forgive you!" She always said "you are only young once, live more brightly, go to more parties, dance more, love more- it's a short journey!"
From her, I learned to always be there for young people, to make time and a joke, to suggest solutions but don't impose, and never judge. Always remind them how precious their young lives are and how short our time together is.
Tania, a close friend
Tan and I have been friends for over 30 years. We met at the hairdressers when I was about 18. She was the hairdressers apprentice – a star performer.
We lost contact for a couple of years but watched out for each other.
Tan has had 6 children but lost several more. We have shared all the joys and grief of having or not having children. Our partners are good friends. We have overcome tremendously hard situations and always been there for each other.
Tan is now the executive director of a large company and their star saleswomen. She wins prizes, runs large teams and gets standing ovations from 200 women after speeches at company dinners. I have watched her rise like a shining phoenix! And all this from some-one who once told me she would not know what to say when speaking in public! I said, ‘you're kidding, you are a hairdresser – you ask everyone about their families and interests every minute of the day!'- just keep doing that!
The lesson from Tania is to share your life with those with whom you can laugh and cry. Always open your home and your heart to those who really take an interest and care about others and their families. When the going gets tough, call for positive advice. Narrow your priorities; stop trying to be everything for everybody.
Keep going forwards towards a positive goal. Never give up.
Lastly, hug your friends and never leave them in their hours of despair. Tell them their strengths over and over again!